Confessions
by KoutaDragara
Summary: Haseo sent an email to Atoli requesting her to meet him in Hulle Granz Cathedral. Read on to see what he has to say. HaseoxAtoli; Atoli's POV; One-Shot.


**Disclaimer-I do not own .hack, .hack//G.U., Haseo, Atoli, or anything else. Just this fic.**

If I did own it, Shino would never have recovered from her coma! :D

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"I wonder what he wants to tell me," I said to myself as I walked up to the Mac Anu Chaos Gate.

I had logged on earlier that day and checked my email to find one from Haseo. I automatically opened it without taking a peek at any of the others, which later made me feel a little ashamed of myself, and read the message inside:

"_Atoli, I have something I want to talk to you about. Come to the Hulle Granz Cathedral alone."_

I had already known not to expect very long emails from Haseo, but I somehow did find it a little abrupt. I closed my email, again without giving any thought to the other emails in my inbox, and logged onto "The World" so as not to keep Haseo waiting any longer than he had to; if he wanted to talk about something important with me, the last thing I needed was to make him angry. Of course, I don't like making him angry anyway, but even so.

I brought up the Chaos Gate menu and scrolled down to "Bookmark". I quickly found " Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground", Hulle Granz Cathedral's Area Words, and warped.

After my character was engulfed in a cloak of blue teleportation rings and whisked away from Mac Anu and its beautiful eternal sunset and usual mass of players, my M2D showed me the familiar, dark green loading screen with a picture of Hulle Granz Cathedral in the top right corner. Then I saw what my character "saw", which was the grand Hulle Granz Cathedral.

Oh, how I always love to walk slowly down the cobblestone path towards the Cathedral, taking in the sheer magnificence of the great church, watching the small, white orbs float around my character as she walks towards the ancient building. I have always enjoyed listening to the riveting German lyrics coupled with the calming melody that starts silent and grows steadily louder as one draws closer.

But today, I could not enjoy the scenery and such. Haseo was waiting for me; why, I did not know, but I simply _had_ to come, and not just because he had told me to.

I would never admit it out loud, and perhaps I didn't need to, since it may have been fairly obvious to the others despite my efforts to hide it, but I'm drawn to him. I always have been, always will be. He saved me more times and in more ways than I can count and I feel so much happier whenever I'm with him. Despite his cold and hard exterior, he can be very kind when he wants to be.

And that's all I really want. Kindness. That's what I've been missing almost my entire life, and then I found Haseo, and I knew that I had finally found a true friend; I once thought that I had found that true friend in Sakaki, but he wasn't what I had thought he was.

And who knows? Haseo may actually be more than a friend to me. But I couldn't get my hopes up that he felt the same way. After all, he has so many choices, all of them much better in some way than me. Most notably, he has Shino-the girl he had worked so hard and suffered so much for; the girl that I could never compare to, even if I tried as hard as I could.

Even though we have the same character model, Shino is somehow more beautiful than me. She's stronger than me, despite the fact that we're both Harvest Clerics. Most of all, she never had to work to prove herself in Haseo's eyes. He always had a place for her in his heart. I had to work as hard as I could, and then some, and even after everything I did, he still only seemed to recognize me as merely a friend.

There seemed to be only one thing that gave me some sort of an advantage over Shino, and that is my Avatar. Innis, the Mirage of Deceit. That didn't seem to make that much more of a difference to Haseo though. To him, and everyone else, I'm really just something to use until I can be used no longer, and then thrown away. Perhaps I have a bit more use to Haseo than everyone else, but I do have a limit. I do have an expiration date. I do have a day when he can toss me aside like an old baggage. And I pray that day will not come for a long time.

I quickly strode up to the Cathedral's immense double doors and opened them. I lightly stepped inside and looked around to see Haseo standing in front of the Cathedral's many rows of pews. I couldn't make out very many details, as he was a shadow standing against the light filtering in through the windows in the back wall. He seemed to hear the doors open and turned around.

"Hey," he said in a seemingly uninterested tone.

"Hello Haseo," I replied as I walked up to him, listening to my character's footsteps echo within the almost empty space. As I drew nearer, I became able to make out his features. Not like I needed to, since I knew every inch of his design by memory. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting long." I was worried that I had, and I began absentmindedly twiddling my fingers.

"No. I just sent that email." That relieved me a bit, but the uneasy feeling returned when I remembered that I had come here because he wanted to talk with me about something important; I inwardly prayed that it wasn't about what I thought it was.

"So…," I nervously started. I kept telling my voice to stay level. Of course, my voice was high-pitched anyway, so I doubt it made that much of a difference, except when I happened to have an outburst. Then, my voice was outright shrill. Even I don't like my voice all too much. "W-What did you want to talk about…?"

For some odd reason, my question seemed to catch Haseo off guard. He didn't answer and turned to look back at the window. That only made me even more nervous.

Finally, he spoke after a silence that seemed to last an eternity.

"Well… I, uh…," he stuttered. He couldn't seem to get his words out. It's not like I'd never heard him stutter before, but I was becoming more nervous by the minute.

I wanted to say something to try and get him to speak up, but if he was going to say what I thought he was, I didn't really want to hear it. In fact, I then realized that if he of all people decided to abandon me, I would fall back once more, and I don't think I would be able to pick myself back up again.

Suddenly, he seemed to find his words and spoke up again. I braced myself to hear those horrible, penetrating, painful words that I dreaded so much because I had heard them so many times before. I knew how much those words stung; how much they cut, and stabbed, and hurt. And I didn't want to hear them from Haseo, the one person I would give anything and everything for.

"Atoli." He turned back around and faced me. His scarlet eyes, which normally burned with the bright flames of hate, anger, and determination, were surprisingly soft as they locked on me. I felt my face become hot in real life.

"_Why?"_ I thought.

"I want to ask you something. Are you-" He paused, seemingly thoughtfully, as if he were searching for the right words, "-happy with me?"

This took me by surprise. My shock must have shown on my character's face, as he quickly looked down.

"Y-Yes… I am, Haseo," I finally forced my voice to make sound and answer him. At that, he looked up again. My face became even hotter.

"Really?" He seemed to be trying to compose himself again.

I nodded.

"You… Honestly don't mind me being the way I am?" He must have known that sometimes he was really hard to get along with.

His questions were making me feel strange. My face grew hotter and hotter until it felt like I was about to break out in a sweat. My heart began to race. I was having a hard time controlling my voice and actions.

"No, I don't mind," I replied, "I-I wouldn't have you any other way," I added, somewhat quieter than the first answer. But he heard. He took a couple of steps towards me. Deep down, I wanted to walk towards him as well, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

He then looked down for a moment, and when he raised his head again, his eyes were sad. I was really confused. Haseo wasn't really acting as he normally did.

"Atoli, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" I was becoming nervous again. He then walked over and sat on one of the front pews.

"About how I treated you for a long time. I know that I'm a harsh person. That's just me. I've been that way for so long; it's hard for me to change."

I finally brought myself to move and I sat my character next to him on the pew, but still at a great enough distance to not be annoying.

"I know that for a while, I did only let you hang around because… I needed a Cleric… And also because you looked like Shino." He drooped his head and seemed ashamed. "I guess it took me too long to recognize you as another person. As someone that I could talk to and rely on."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he _actually_ apologizing for those things? Was he _really_ saying that he could rely on me? Was my effort not all in vain after all?

He seemed to be a little bothered by my silence.

"I know that what all I did isn't really worth forgiving. But I still have to ask… _Will_ you forgive me?"

I was so startled by that time that I had nearly fallen out of my chair in real life. I knew what I was going to say, but my voice wouldn't make any noise at all. I swallowed hard and finally forced out my answer.

"Yes, Haseo. I forgive you," I replied as I looked him in the eyes and gave one of the happiest smiles that I ever had. I didn't notice it at the time, but my hand had drawn closer to where his hand was resting on the pew.

He returned the smile and grabbed my hand. He then pulled my arm with enough force to bring me close to him, but gentle enough to not hurt.

"Thank you Atoli. But even if you have forgiven me, I still have to work to make it up to you as much as I can, right?"

I had opened my mouth to say something, but was abruptly interrupted as his lips devoured mine in a passionate kiss. My face in real life suddenly flushed a bright tomato red. Despite the fact that the kiss wasn't technically _real_, I was still embarrassed and excited.

I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. He in turn pulled me closer to him with his hands around my waist.

If there were ever a time that I had wished that it were my real life self and Haseo's in the game instead of our characters, it was then. I longed to be with the player behind Haseo. I pined for him. I so dearly wished that I could feel his real lips locked with my own.

I slowly pulled myself off of him and looked him in the eyes. I then noticed that this seemed to be the happiest Haseo had ever been, along with myself.

He laid down on the pew, pulling me with him. I was stretched over on top of him, with my head resting on his chest and my fingers absentmindedly tracing the seams on his white shirt. I noticed my hat being lifted off my head, but didn't bother trying to get it back, especially once I felt Haseo stroking my hair gently. Rather, I sighed lightly and snuggled closer to him.

I could only hope that the rest of my days with Haseo would be this happy.

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Author's Notes-This was something random I wrote out of boredom. This is also one of my rare first person POV stories. I personally prefer third person omniscient. I can be more descriptive and such that way. :3 Also, I'm afraid the characters may be a bit out of character. Especially Haseo. I have an annoying inability to write harsh, tough characters in character. At least in love stories anyway. :/

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed this fic! ;)


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